OK, I told you something on Ray, so it is only fair that I tell you a tidbit about me. I can’t believe I am telling this story.
Back when Ray and I were in high school, he was quite the ladies man and as with all card carrying ladies men he had a little black book. How do I know he had a little black book? Well I saw it of course!
One night Ray and I were going to see the Pink Floyd Laser show, Dark Side of the Moon after he got off work. I met him at his house and waited in his room while he got a quick shower. I decided to kick back and watch a little TV while he showered and went to grab the remote off of his dresser, that is when I saw it. Well, well, well, what have we here? Why it’s Ray’s little phone book! I must admit, right away the tv was forgotten. I know, you are shocked! So here I am with Ray’ little phone book and nothing but time to kill so I go to turning pages.
The first thing I noticed was that he listed all us girls alphabetically by first name. My maiden name is Bagley but there I was listed under the A’s. Now, as you know, in these books the pages were divided alphabetically. I being the OCD person that I am, make entries into books of this sort alphabetically by last name. Not Ray, he makes his entries by first name. Now, In my opinion, not only is that method of data entry insane, I have noticed that the people over at facebook have implemented Ray’s way of listing friends in their pop up windows exactly the same way. When you go to view a list of friends, they are alphabetical by first name. I don’t like it, it is just a cruel reminder….of what? Read on.
As I continued to flip through the book and examine the names listed on each page it was as if I were making little mental check marks by each one. Annette, Becky, Chris, Donna, Fern, Fern? I don’t remember him every mentioning any Fern. Fern huh! I keep flipping and each page I came to that had someone’s name on it, well I remember that name, yep, her too. He has mentioned everybody in this book. Everybody except Fern.
Who was this Fern anyway? The only girl I had ever heard of named Fern was from the movie Charlotte’s Web. I don’t recall anybody from school named Fern, I wonder if she was from Cobb County…hmmm wonder why he is keeping Fern such a secret?! He has mentioned every other girl, why not this one? We hate Fern.
So while I am there pondering who this Fern is and what the chances were of her knocking me out of the saddle here comes ol’ RayRay back from his shower. He had taken his clothes with him so all he had left to do was splash on some cologne and put his stuff in his pockets. I’ve been caught red handed, snooping! So I do what any red blooded, American girl would do, I get huffy.
Ray: “Is that my phone book?”
Me: “Who is Fern?”
Ray: “Fern? I don’t know anybody named Fern. What are you doing with my phone book? Snoooooopin?”
Me: “I am not snooping, I was just killing time. What do you mean you don’t know any Fern, you know her well enough to write her down in this book!”
Ray: “I’m telling ya, I don’t know anybody named Fern! Fern who?”
Me: “It’s right here! Fern….. Fern Bank!”
Ray: “Let me see that. Fern Bank? Fern Bank as in Fernbank Science Center that is currently featuring the Pink Floyd Laser Light Show?” He then gets real smug when he realizes that I have gotten completely torn out of the frame by some girl that doesn’t even exist.
Me: “Fern Bank……Fernbank?…..Science Center? Well, that is just stupid! Why in the world do you write people in this stupid little book by the first letter of their first name? And furthermore Fernbank is one word!”
Something to Ponder:
In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled. ~Paul Eldridge
I could not have resisted looking either, but I do know you were #1 in all his books!
Too funny! i would do the same and must admit I have gone through John’s cell phone before! LOL! I know you are #1 in Ray’s book…that’s why he listed by first names! That way you could be first!
Shhhhhhh!! Joseph doesn’t know this unless he could tell, but I looked through his pictures while he was out of his room on more than one occasion while we were dating. I would wait until he went upstairs to do something and help myself!! LOL!! I can totally relate to this Annette!!
Love ya!!